adopt forked squirrel supporting from UPDATE FROM (#19896)

Fork https://github.com/Masterminds/squirrel as https://github.com/lieut-data/squirrel with the following changes:
* https://github.com/Masterminds/squirrel/pull/256 supporting FROM clause to update builder (Postgres)
* Extension of above to support multiple FROM in UPDATE (Postgres)
* Support for multiple tables in UPDATE (MySQL)

This PR then leverages those changes to simplify a query that previously had to be coded by hand and duplicate for each of MySQL and Postgres.

go.sum

@@ -978,6 +978,10 @@ github.com/lib/pq v1.8.0/go.mod h1:AlVN5x4E4T544tWzH6hKfbfQvm3HdbOxrmggDNAPY9o=
 github.com/lib/pq v1.10.0/go.mod h1:AlVN5x4E4T544tWzH6hKfbfQvm3HdbOxrmggDNAPY9o=
 github.com/lib/pq v1.10.4 h1:SO9z7FRPzA03QhHKJrH5BXA6HU1rS4V2nIVrrNC1iYk=
 github.com/lib/pq v1.10.4/go.mod h1:AlVN5x4E4T544tWzH6hKfbfQvm3HdbOxrmggDNAPY9o=
+github.com/lieut-data/squirrel v1.5.3 h1:c6RI29VQOkUvqjpUsa45HeZ+wShtzDcSrmTUom/F65g=
+github.com/lieut-data/squirrel v1.5.3/go.mod h1:NNaOrjSoIDfDA40n7sr2tPNZRfjzjA400rg+riTZj10=
+github.com/lieut-data/squirrel v1.5.4 h1:OGzJNl0/ZxdjLEHuFzDo797zB2V7i8wQXBVThcOzbHE=
+github.com/lieut-data/squirrel v1.5.4/go.mod h1:NNaOrjSoIDfDA40n7sr2tPNZRfjzjA400rg+riTZj10=
 github.com/lunixbochs/vtclean v1.0.0/go.mod h1:pHhQNgMf3btfWnGBVipUOjRYhoOsdGqdm/+2c2E2WMI=
 github.com/lyft/protoc-gen-star v0.5.3/go.mod h1:V0xaHgaf5oCCqmcxYcWiDfTiKsZsRc87/1qhoTACD8w=
 github.com/magiconair/properties v1.8.0/go.mod h1:PppfXfuXeibc/6YijjN8zIbojt8czPbwD3XqdrwzmxQ=